Won’t you be my neighbor?
- Mister Rogers
I was listening to a podcast this week, probably against my better judgment. Somehow somehow this podcast, which has a history of being anti-trans, managed to find a new low. One of the hosts, a pastor, said that “we”1 had gotten a question: “What do I do if a trans person moves into my neighborhood?”
The hosts managed to get to “love them like you would anyone else,”2 but the question’s mere existence kind of broke me.
“What do I do if a _______ moves into my neighborhood,” is a question where we might expect the blank to be filled with something like “sex offender.” And I honestly can’t think of many other options where I can understand the sentiment behind the question.
But “trans person”? This is clear, blatant “othering.” It treats trans people as a contaminating object3, a thing to be afraid of. What might we do to you? To your kids? How much parking will we consume with our meetings to go over the Trans Agenda TM?
It’s dehumanizing and it’s dangerous, and I’m truly aghast that the host of the podcast who relayed the question didn’t express outrage that the question had even been asked. It’s a long long way from Mister Rogers’ famous, “Won’t you be my neighbor?”
On a completely different level, the Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, last week stated that there will be, among other groups, “no tr*nnies” in the military. According to The Advocate4:
“We are no longer the woke department or the weak department,” Hegseth said. “Simple translation of that. No fatties5, no tr***ies, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals, just warriors. Just tough, ready, committed troops.”
It’s not the first time he’s used that slur, and it didn’t shock me. But what I did see was that basically no one outside of trans people even cared. Multiple left-leaning news outlets that I saw reported on the full quote but didn’t censor the word and didn’t name it as a slur.
Yes, it’s more egregious that the Trump Administration is discharging trans people from the military at all6. But doing it with glee at getting to use a slur for us is just brutal. And our allies failing to even care hurts even more.
And over the last month we’ve seen a number of democrats at least softly backpedal on trans rights. It’s one thing7 to say, as Senate candidate James Talarico (D-Texas) did, that he’d oppose trans girls playing in girls sports if it impacted fairness or safety (it doesn’t). But it’s another thing for those who said that they opposed “boys playing in girls sports,”8 which is anti-trans framing which agrees with the idea that trans girls are actually just boys. That thinking will eventually advance to bans on gender-affirming care, bathroom bans, and elimination of discrimination protections for trans people.
Now, the right has made being anti-trans a core part of its strategy. This covers a spectrum from ads like “[Democrat] is for they/them, [Republican] is for you”9 to jokes about pronouns to calling someone like Talarico, “James Talafreako”10 for his support for trans kids.
The right’s obsession with us is terrifying, and it’s not going away soon. This is in part because they can’t campaign on the economy (bad), national security (Iran war is a debacle of epic proportions), or really anything else that actually helps the people of this country (comment below if you disagree). So they use us as a distraction. But it’s also because they genuinely hate us, for all manner of reasons that are well documented elsewhere.
And this week, the President of the United States used the T-slur not once, not twice, but three times in one post. Importantly, he didn’t even use it to target a trans person, but rather one of our allies.
Trump continues to lead with anti-trans rhetoric before even anything else, denouncing, “Transgender for Everyone,” a phrase which I still simply do not understand.
And of course, this is on the heals of Trump himself saying this, according to LGBTQ+ Nation11, if the Democrats win in November:
“Our country’s going to be in sad shape, because we’re gonna go through a lot of things,” he continued. “You’re going to have the taxes raised, you’re gonna have crazy things happening like the men in women’s sports will never end. None of this- Transgender will never end,” he told Gowdy.
This is, and I know many will believe that I’m being hysterical, genocidal language. But just read the language. If you replace “Transgender” with a community you belong to, how do you feel? “Christianity will never end.” “White will never end.”12 Would you be comfortable with a president saying something like that? I suspect it’d be the lead story on conservative media for days or weeks, and it’d be the end of the political career of whoever said it.
But this administration has made targeting trans people a core part of its strategy. Republicans are spending millions on anti-trans ads right now. And they’re not subtle about seeing trans people as less than human. As shown here, we’re marginalized in politics, in schools, in neighborhoods, in the workplace, and more. And the right performs this marginalization with glee.
And… I’m supposed to just be nice about it. I’m told that I’m supposed to just “agree to disagree.”
And in 2024, I did that. I begged for people to listen, and… some of you refused. Some of you voted for Trump anyways. Some of you just didn’t vote. And as a result, I have to listen to the president of my country talk about his desire to “end” my community and use vile slurs to describe me.
So my question is: why aren’t you angry? Why aren’t you more upset about this? Why would you even think of voting for anyone other than whatever democrats are running in your district (and yes, you should do this even if they’re not great on trans rights - they’re still better than the republican)? Why would you put me through the pain of knowing that you voted for someone who so clearly wants to hurt me and my friends?
I know so many people of so many backgrounds and ages and ethnicities and genders and orientations who I see at protests who are furious about Trump’s attacks on my trans community. They know what’s at stake and they’re terrified of what will happen, and they’re doing what they can to help.
So I’ll ask you: can you be one of them? Can you please help me and my community instead of voting for those who will harm us? If there’s something stopping you from doing so, have the courage to ask me about it, please. Don’t just live in ignorance. Are you ready to actually explain to me why you had to vote for someone who wants me gone? Are you heartbroken over that, and enough that you would reach out to me and beg for a way to resolve your concerns about the democrat?
For example, I know conservative-leaning people who won’t vote for a democrat because of abortion. I disagree, but even if I was staunchly anti-abortion, I would vote democrat, because since the late 70’s, abortion numbers have fallen faster under Democrat presidents than Republican ones. They fell fastest immediately after the Affordable Care Act, because of increased access to birth control and health insurance for pregnancy and childbirth. That led to fewer pregnancies and more support for them. In fact, Trump’s first term was the first since the 70’s in which abortion numbers went up. This was why I finally voted for a Democrat (Joe Biden) in 2020, when I learned of these numbers. Simply put: if you want to reduce abortion in this country, vote blue.
I won’t go point-by-point through a bunch of issues, but I am begging you to understand the devastation that’s hit my community in recent years as republicans make hating trans people their whole deal.
In summary, yes, I’m asking you to love your neighbor as yourself, and suppose I’m then asking you: “Won’t you be my neighbor?”
Either his church or the podcast hosts collectively - not sure.
Which for evangelicals means trying to convert us and save us from our “sinful” transitions.
As always, please read Billie and Paul Hoard’s brilliant book Eucontamination: Disgust Theology and the Christian Life if you’d like a deep dive and Christian perspective on this dynamic.
See The Advocate for one of stories that censored the word and named it as a slur.
This, too, is brutal, and of course one scarcely needs to think for a matter of seconds before they realize that the Commander in Chief is someone who would medically qualify as obese. Of course, the idea that someone of a particular BMI is unfit to serve in many roles in our military is
Executive Order 14183, “Prioritizing Military Excellence and Readiness,” signed a week after President Trump took office the second time.
And not a good thing.
I’m choosing these examples because, statistically speaking, white Christians vote for Trump more often than another group.